Dear Berry Dear Berry,

My story is odd but what do I do if I will never know the answer to
something? Please let me explain. My wife and I went to sleep around our usual time (midnight). I have been checking my Blackberry a bit less because she was really getting irritated about my using it in almost all situations/venues. She was feeling neglected and a bit jealous and I thought this was a bit extreme. She is my wife and I love her and I certainly don't want her to feel this way. The Blackberry (while I'm admittedly obsessed) is just an electronic device. Clearly nothing compare to the love I feel for my wife!

So when we got up in the morning I noticed that there was a message started on my Blackberry in my inbox. There was nothing in the "body" of the message and there was nothing filled in the "to" field. Just something written on the "subject" line. It said "Lou dart owes me Kitchen" (makes absolutely NO sense to me-I don't know a "Lou Dart", etc.). Now, the freaky thing about this is that I have NO memory of writing this. It was saved as a draft but I know I didn't write it. My Blackberry sits on my nightstand on a pod (charger). I was a bit panicked but then I nicely asked my wife if she wrote it. She swears she didn't. She doesn't use a Blackberry and isn't into technological gadgets but this wouldn't be too difficult for her to figure out. She does work in Information Systems and taught herself SQL programming language. So when she wants to do something she can figure it out. She is determined and tenacious, two qualities in her I love (usually :>))! Now to be fair, I have talked in my sleep before and not remembered what I have said. So I told her I was going to call the doctor (I take a medication at bedtime) to ask what he thought and he said I could have done it when I was in a dream state or it could have been an odd reaction to the medication I take. He said it's very possible she's telling the truth and wasn't playing a joke or doing something to "get me back" for all of my Blackberry use (I know I sound paranoid). Also, when I discussed it with her, she said she would have "come clean" when I told her I was calling the doctor.

So you see my dilemma! I will never really know for sure how this happened. I can actually see her doing something like this. Something that started as a joke and then got a bit out of control so she didn't want to "come clean". HELP, Berry! What should I do with the fact that I won't know for sure?

- Gaslight

Dear "Gaslight",

Thank you for writing.I completely understand your dilemma. While you trust your wife it's clear that her annoyance over your Blackberry addiction might have driven her to "teach you a lesson". I can see her wanting to play a joke on you and it just going too far. Those things happen. In this case however, there are too many factors and you're going to need to find it within yourself to "let this go". Since you won't know for sure, it's out of your control. If it happens again, it's most likely not her. If it doesn't, it was either something that happened as your doctor explained or a fluke. If it happens again you might want to speak to your doctor about the medication your taking (as some have strange side effects). Also, if she did to it to "teach you a lesson" than my guess is she also learned a lesson and might have been too afraid to "come clean".

Something I will recommend is that it might be time for you to set some boundaries with your Blackberry. When you're with your wife, BE with your wife, NOT your Blackberry (e.g., dinner, movie, talking, etc.). Let her know that you want to still check your Blackberry and enjoy it however, you will focus more on her and please let her know how important she is to you. Sometimes that message gets lost with the priority level we give the Blackberry. Make sure she knows that she is your FIRST and ONLY true love!

- Berry

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