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Let the silly times begin... some company called United Vision Marketing Firm offers to buy Research In Motion

Kevin and the Ham Sandwich
By Kevin Michaluk on 5 Apr 2012 09:39 am EDT
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Kevin and a Ham sandwich have a better chance of buying RIM over these guys...

Uhh... ok. Read the press below. 

Press Release

via Global Newswire

NEW YORK, April 5, 2012 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- United Vision Marketing Firms CEO announces today that they are making an offer to Research In Motion (RIM) to acquire its Black Berry assets. The decision was made to acquire RIM after a strategy session with UVMF's board members and consultants and the announcement by RIM's new CEO of a possible sell of the company. The proposed deal is an all stock swap deal that will position RIM shareholders to be in a greater equity position by swapping for UVMF's IPO stock price.

The team at UVMF feels the move is perfect timing on how to better leverage itself against other device makers. The deal will help the development of UVMF'S $1.6 Billion proposed Pearson Education Tablet (PET), take UVMF public and develop a new brand imaging campaign for BlackBerry Products using UVMF's entertainment ties.

UVMF is a much smaller company but is best known for its big ideas. One of the key innovators is the self proclaimed Dr. Nono C. Pearson who is the founder/ CEO of the firm. Dr. Pearson, who was born on Flag Day, started his career in music as a D.J. producer and song writer. Since then he has started and predicted new trends that have gone on to become the biggest in history and some of the worst trends in history, like our current economic crises.

One trend that Dr. Pearson has been more vocal about in past interviews is what he called "making country cool" in rap music. This was at the time when the east and west coast rap music ruled the air waves. It's now documented that the "make country cool" movement in rap music has sold over 78 million records for the recording industry.

Now the 37 year old innovator is headed to Wall Street with the copyrights to prove that he is the owner of what he calls "Corporate Hip Hop" and once again he is pushing the concept through the entertainment business.

UVMF signed up a multi-platinum selling rapper to help set the trend that will help develop the market and leverage the acquisition deal. Some analysts are saying the deal is a good move as the "innovate or die" culture continues to proliferate on Wall Street says UVMF insiders.

"From day one we have been positioning United Vision Marketing Firm to be the Apple of the future in terms of out innovating the competition by continuously focusing on the best technology, creativity and delivering socially relevant content." says Eze Redwood COO of UVMF.

Unlike much of the competition UVMF has a huge portfolio of socially relevant ideas to bring to market that will totally monetize its business model beyond advertising revenue.

"In past bubbles we have seen many firms receive high valuations without having a true business model for sustainable growth. This model is what caused the final domino to fall in 1929 to create the great depression, shortly after a temporary credit fix that eventually came to an end. We are continuously hyping economic predictions in sectors such as education, technology, and finance; in which there are little to no real sustainable growth strategies for the future. Most of our youth are unengaged with many of these products or simply just can't afford them. Soon the bottom will fall out of that trend if we don't face the truth. United Vision Marketing Firm has the innovative business model to help create real sustainable growth for our clients. Our most valued asset is having the human capital that has the passion to actually go out and develop the markets. We fully understand having that kind of leverage alone is priceless." Says Dr. Nono C. Pearson CEO of United Vision Marketing Firm.

90 comments

diegonei

"The decision was made to acquire RIM after a strategy session with UVMF's board members and consultants and the announcement by RIM's new CEO of a possible sell of the company."

That was all I needed to read...

They need go stop reading so-called techblogs and stick to facts.

When did licensing BB10 became selling the company?

Sigh indeed...

Zizzzzy

Sigh indeed...

Looks like companies are using RIMs spotlight in the news to push advertising campaigns...

the irony...

ba_hamilton

I don't know if this is a valid offer in the works or not, but the number one responsibility of a board is to the shareholders. If this deal represents the best deal for shareholder value then the board has a responsibility to see it through. If BB10 is a failure and then share price drops another 50% then the company is open to legal action by the shareholders. It doesn't really matter what the users of the end product think. They have no stake in the company. If you want a voice buy some stock.

fcaputo4

There website looks pretty legit and creative... http://www.uvm-firm.com/
i could almost type that without laughing

dentynefire

Your Ad Here

See it works!

etlahrs

It must be legit since they charge $9.99 to apply for employment.

Kamika007z

Yep, it's true: http://www.uvm-firm.com/employment

All I have to say is look at your first name as a clear indicator to whether or not RIM will sell to you.

17.michal

You know it's sad when you want to buy something, and can not even spell it right!!! "RIM Black Berry"...lol

gimpy666

gimpy666
They wanted to emphasize the BLACK by separating it.

ichat

This is epic fail.

Say no rim
Its suicide if yes.

3Dee

Can someone tell them that April Fools Day was last Sunday please?

edyb

That's exactly what I was thinking. April Fools but at the expense of RIM, I guess any publicity is better than no publicity?

And what about the person getting stabbed at the Blackberry party in London? Is that story real or also April Fools joke? Doesn't sound like a joke to me...

BarracudaBob

Isn't this "news" 4 days late for April fools?

joski

But Obama is president - RIM HAS to accept... Right?!?!

peter9477

I'm lost... Aren't the April Fools jokes supposed to stop after the 1st? Even the names of the people involved here read like a poor attempt at humor, not to mention the buzzword gobbledegook.

alexandros2011

you guys need to seriously relax......lmao

mdarr

Dr. Nono Pearson? is he the inventor of the Nono shaving device? Say Nono Rim, this is a joke

jr4941

Must be... He's also the man behind the Schticky and Shamwow

birdman_36

Their original CEO was Dr. Evil

Perjade

Just what RIM needs at this moment. A fresh cool innovator coming from the outside with new ideas! Awesome ! RIM should sell right away ! Blackberrys will become cool again!

lang007

Quiet Please. You have got to be joking.

Jaredius

Is it really up to RIM to say yes or no?

thatplaybookguy

They could do a hostile takeover, shareholders would make a lil on their investment but they could do it all the same and RIM would have zero say in that matter.

Jaredius

Exactly. With shares at $12-13 range when just 18-20 months ago they were at triple that, RIM could be had for a bargain. However, I am no market analyst by any means and I sure as heck know even less about Canadian regulations.

siddo_d

I don't think RIM should sell now wait untill launch of BB10 and see how it goes then consider

thatplaybookguy

watch out its Dr. NONO and his evil henchman EZE! funny names.

El Platanero

I'm at a loss with this. If they are that good yet a small company it sounds like an aquisition that RIM needs to make not be bought out by.

Jorgenfruz

This is obvously a joke, made by a growing number who see RIM as a joke. Will this bs ever end?

BBWatchCA

Don't take this too seriously, guys. You ever heard of this company before? But now you know it, right? That's what they want.

" a possible sell of the company"? Never knew that "sell" can be used as a noun.

Drayk

"But now you know it, right?"...Exactly
Good strategy on their part, I suppose.

bigreality

HEY GUYS IF YOU DO RESEARCH YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT A LOT OF MAJOR CORPORATIONS THAT STANDS TODAY WAS BOUGHT OUT BY SMALLER COMPANIES WHO HAD THE INNOVATION TO MOVE INTO THE FUTURE. SEE RIM HAS A CREATIVE MARKETING PROBLEM. THE TECHNOLOGY IS GREAT BUT THE CREATIVITY ISN'T. ITS EITHER "INNOVATE OR DIE."

DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU MAKE COMMENTS AS IF ITS NOT POSSIBLE. ITS A VERY GOOD IDEA. IF THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN RIM WILL LOSE A LOT AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL LOSE JOBS. GETTING LOW COST DIGITAL TABLETS TO STUDENTS ALONE WILL BEGAN THE TURN AROUND AT RIM.

THEY CAN'T MOVE THEM NOW ANYWAY. SO IT'S CALLED INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. ITS AN INTANGIBLE ASSET. AS A MATTER OF FACT IT WAS ALMOST MICROSOFT, GOOGLE, FACEBOOK AND YAHOOS TOTAL VALUE AS A SMALL COMPANY. JUST GREAT IDEAS ARE ALL THEY HAD.

SO IT'S NOT APRIL FOOLS.. IT'S CALL (BIG REALITY). IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE NOW..YOU WILL BELIEVE LATER.

lcfut

please stop screaming from your soap box.
its annoying to readers....

dmroberts8

BigReality,

Obviously you are a representative of UVMF. Just like the website, your grammar is awful too.

AfroLoGeek

Enough!!
The shorter ,the better!!

Now that you miss april's fool, Please leave RIM,and go annoy someone else.
Or maybe this is your way on doing marketing?By the time we just check your "web" site(?),we just keep talking about you.
Hey ,NO Worth!! Get out of here!

Revord

Ummm...drama much?? Skt down, take a few deep breaths, and get over yourself. Kthxbai

chaundral25

Hey "Dr." Nono, Do us a favor and tell us why RIM should sell to you???!! Better yet do you have the billions necessary to even make a legitimate offer? Give me a break!

Tariq.H

I believe the news... It's enough to look at their website and see how professional it is.

birdman_36

If they have about 8 billion dollars kicking around, maybe

Bruno_the_Great

Bigreality likes capitals. I didn't read a word of it.

irwindersra

board members have a fiduciary duty to review the offer, and they can definately make the call to say no provided that is a a decision that is best for the business. Hostile takeover is also a possibility but im assuming that RIM has some competent attorneys that know what they are doing and would know their options to prevent that from happenig. Buying out the shares of RIM from its shareholders is next to impossible, plus once they are purchased more than a certain amount of shares they have to file paperwork and this would prompt RIM attorneys to get the wheels turning on their defense to the takeover

birdman_36

He was born on Flag Day. Now it all makes sense.

lnichols

This is what you get for putting out commercials featuring DJ's RIM. Now a former DJ wants to buy you.

stevedee

Is there another Austin Powers badguy? Dr. Nono...

If you really want to see a return on your investment, I think there are still some dot-coms for sale from the last crash. ;-)

Curve 8330 CDMA (eww, I know, u/g to BB10 soon!)
Winner of EA Mobile SE Playbook - rockin' it!

flnetman62

Big reality - you need a big dose of reality. What this nono nonsense proposal is - is a shell game! A shell company with no assets are value (but a bunch of ideas Miss Cleao from the psychic network provided) wants to take over rim at no cost.....just a stock swap.

let's see....RIM valuation is still billions of US dollars - what is the value of United Vision?

What a joke - we all needed a laugh but this is ridiculous.

dmroberts8

What a joke. Have you seen the grammar on their site?

TheRealFixxxer

I personally liked their menus. Black text, white shadows on a green background. Contrast much?

vrp

@Kevin @Chris - I wish crackberry couldnt have encouraged this kind of news. They are making such offers to promote their brand and further degrade RIM. A partnership is needed for RIM, not an acquisition. I would say you/we need to give enough time for RIM to launch BB10. You should also take care of a strategy where you convey CB users that we need to have patience since they said the likelihood launch being end of 2012. Whatever the competitors do, BB have enough space in the market if the quality of apps is good enough. It looks like they are the only company who can launch a product through out the globe at the same time. Our PB is better than Kindle, but everyone is likely to thrash PB due to wrong vibes even though they both are of same SP. Think again, RIM is competing now with the biggest companies which we have ever seen - goog, msft, amzn and aapl.

Lets look at what an awesome team RIM have now - shttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mergers_and_acquisitions_by_Researc.... They launched PB within 1 year of acquisition of QNX. The pressure from fans/us made them release so quickly and got a negative feedback .Hence, started this market decline. Apple got started in 2005 for iphone development and released its first version in june 2007. It was a long and profound journey that made them successful. I would say give them enough time for development and testing, They can provide us with amazing masterpieces.

Encourage qualified readers for applying new jobs available at RIM - shttps://rim.taleo.net/careersection/americas/jobsearch.ftl
and help them with BB10 launch.

Watch some Cascades videos - shttp://www.tat.se/videos/ and shttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAKu0aVBHgQ&feature=player_embedded#! which you have already seen. If we give enough time for them , they are surely gonna make the best UI.

QNX - shttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kc9bOSEMts&feature=related is the best OS out there and competitors are trying to make this project a failure through various media. Don't you think, we need to support RIM better?

Darlaten

Watch some Cascade videos?!?!?!

With all due respect, the only thing that Blackberry users can consistently rely on from RIM is more videos demonstrating what has yet come to pass. Quite frankly, I dont want, and I doubt that others want, to see anymore videos in the "its coming soon mantra". It's about time that RIM actually delivers on what's being shown instead of simply talking about it.

As for giving RIM enough time; again, as Blackberry users, the only thing we ever give RIM is time - we wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.........

I am a fan of RIM; but let's take the rose colour glasses off and recognize that there are issues facing this company that need to be resolved.

vrp

Even I am sick of waiting, but this waiting is not more than 6-7 months. Even the so called biggies like google and apple cannot launch a complete OS ecosystem in short span. I am doing my MS in CS and I know the technical challenges, may be you might also. There is a saying - You cannot hire nine mothers to deliver a baby in a month. So letz wait for good. :)

vrp

Also, we need to appreciate RIM not migrating it's 80% job to China. If they could have moved it , it would have been a much faster delivery. See Apple has most of their development and production based at China. I am not saying it as a wrong strategy, but Americas will be suffering.

Thunderbuck

Like it or not, it's news. It's a legitimate takeover bid.

It's ridiculous, of course, and it won't go anywhere, but yes, it's a takeover bid. So, yes, it needs to be reported.

daviskacer

I have a rather crazy idea. RIM is definitely in need of a CMO -- someone to promote and market the BlackBerry -- someone who knows BB and who knows the value of BB and gets people excited about BlackBerry. I VOTE KEVIN FOR RIM CMO - 2012. What do you think. Anyone think I'm crazy or am I on to something! He's got my vote.

Darlaten

Sarcastically, they couldn't possibly do any worse at running the company than what RIM has been able to do over the past few years.

cray.mock

And I'm self proclaining, my name is Dr. Fu.

Great now all sorts of companies are going to make offers. Frack man if they sell out I might as well head over to one of the other camps right now.

Say No to Drugs

Artwerks

April 1st was four days ago. On a brighter side, I wish they could bring their website UI to the BB10 platform, Dr. Nono (?!?!?) is serious competition to TAT.

undone

As a share holder....I say...go blow. :)

grreyes24

I don't know why, but i find it funny that they have only collected $5 for their Technology For Education Intiatives... 0% of goal met.

randall2580

This "Ham Sandwich" guy keeps coming up in important matters. I might need to know more about him...

franky62

Just one point everyone is missing BlackBerry is a Canadian "Telecomunication" company therefore any sale of the company to a non Canadian Business must be approved by the Canadian Goverment.

Balls deep

FSeverino

they said they would consider it... which is very different then the stance on the company has always been.

BaconMunch

THIS is what the market needs to realize...that as investors drive the stock price down, silly things like this are actually published and released. Does RIM seriously warrant a <$15 stock evaluation? Or are the shorts just enjoying making money?

momakhadmi

LOOOOOOOL!!! I cant believe i took the time to read this. The company right now looks real stupid, of course RIM wouldn't sell out right now. They would lose any little hope of restoring blackberry to the U.S market.

cletis

Like many commenters before me, my first thought was that someone missed April Fools Day. Then I visited this firm's web site, and now I realize that the real joke is that this Nono Pearson person takes himself so seriously. I don't know whether to think that his company is a sad attempt at a legitimate business or a Nigeria 419 scam crossed with a ponzi scheme. Their vision statement states that they don't know what their vision is -- and the word "vison" is in the damned company name! The cut-rate web design, the fact that all content comes from Nono himself, the questionable title of Doctor, the probably phony Madison Avenue address, the ripoff complaints on the Internet from "business partners" who clearly have the business savvy of a 15-year-old, the comments on every web page where someone has criticized him claiming to have been written by a devoted employee who is not him -- this is just an ugly train wreck.

kupfernigk

Don't worry. I am starting a creative marketing company to be CEOed by my dog. In a week or two I'm visiting Goldman Sachs to suggest an IPO with a provisional valuation of $400 billion. Based on my pre-IPO valuation, my dog is going to offer Apple shareholders a 1:1 share swap to take control of the company, so he can have the next iPhone fitted with a slide-out keyboard and destroy RIM. You have far more to worry about from my Dogbert than from Dr. Nono.

SurrealCivic

Making country cool in rap music? Is this for real? :)

Most important, how much are they paying?

louzer

So they want to buy the company with pre-IPO shares. Weren't moves like that the beginning of the end for the internet bubble in 2000?

3_M4N

I think the company actually sounds pretty cool. If there is anyone that needs to buy any one here though, RIM should be looking to aquire them. I think the BlackBerry brand could use the energy and enthusiasm United Vision would bring to the table. Their creativity and focus on "socially relevent and responsible content" lines up well with some of the goals the BlackBerry marketing team has been working on. Plus, who wouldn't want to work with someone named "Dr. Nono"? :)Oh, and if RIM does buy United Vision, they should rename them Prestige World Wide!!! Pure gold baby.

chm985

This has to be a joke.

Torch 9860, Playbook

TRlPPlN

interesting news. seriously though who the hell is their webmaster?!?!?! they can afford to bid a 1+billion to acquire RIM but can't invest in at least having a professional looking website? **SMH**

BigBallsB

That websites Bangin.

coffee-turtle

You'd think they have at least the funds to hire a decent web developer?

gryphon13

What is unfortunate is that this press release was actually published....how was this company's obvious attempt at publicity allowed through and accepted as NEWS. Where is the integrity and proper due diligence in the news industry?

I have been investigating fraud for 20 years and seen many companies like this come and go, usually followed by lawsuits, criminal prosecutions and an episode of American Greed.

Most people would recognize the red flags in the release and web site, for those that don't...I know a guy that has a guaranteed high return no risk investment for you!!!

Kiddo2050

This gets posted on Crackberry? Great job guys!

jwn66

oh, this was serious, lol

DocDRM

That was good for a laugh, but even better were some of the posts that were seriously chiming in for or against RIM's takeover! Stock this, hold out for BB10 that . . .

Bwaaaahaahaahaahaahaa!!

Thor is swinging his hammer, and as long as it misses the Ham sandwich in CBK's BlackBerry stained hands, all will be well, BB10 will rock, and RIMPIRE will strike back.

oldtimeBBaddict

Let's see...his name on his website is Dr. Nono Pearson, but on his FB page it's Nuno Pearson (sans the Dr. title)? Nah, no red flags here....

herrbremerhaven

This is a PR stunt. Shame on CrackBerry for encouraging it. If you never have pulled a thread before, then this one would be a good one to pull. Don't add to the PR blitz from these scammers.

EchuOkan1

Hey, I have lots of "great ideas" as well; so, I should also make an offer to RIM. =0)

Liquid_Revolver

RIM is the old run down house no one wants...that had three babies killed in the kitchen lol

RIP RIM

jonno_atamaniuk

HAhahahaha.... oh wait they were serious?.... HAhahahaha

Doc_D#CB

I can't believe this even saw the light of day...
Take a look here (circa 2009):
http://board.soundclick.com/viewTopic.php?t=305366
Don't the wire services do background checks anymore?

howlingmoongames

Rim does need some type of ad service to help apps go free.

A little self promotion for our first playbook game that launched a week ago.

http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/95411/?lang=en

lorax1284

Posting this shite is feeding the beast: they might as well have issued a release that the entire company would be crossing the Niagara gorge on a tightrope... it's a simple publicity stunt, and Crackberry.com has 'facilitated' it by publishing it. Standards, people!