Traffic.com Releases Free App for BlackBerry - Enter to Win a Free Garmin Nuvi GPS!

STOP HONKING Im TEXTING !!!

pls pick me

Years ago I had a bumper sticker that said: You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!

Warning, radar ahead. I speed to save YOU a ticket.

(Fyi, some of your entries guys was really creative and funny! I laughed heaps reading through them :D

"They say I have A.D.H.D. they just don't understand...Oh look, a squirrel."

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Puffff...I'm just letting out gas

If your are reading this then you are a LOSER!!!

An american flag in the background with a big "W". Caption read "Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing it's idiot!"

my kid beat up your honor student!

I AM ADDICTED TO CRACK(BERRY)!

CBA-CrackBerry Anonymous

I AM ADDICTED TO CRACK(BERRY)!

CBA-CrackBerry Anonymous

Kids in cars cause accidents,
but accidents in cars cause kids!

"Horn If You're Honky"

Great stickers
"get off my ass I'm savin gas"
Seen a few years ago
"There is a village in texas missing its idiot"
"My kid beat up your honor student"

I love USA...(next bumper sticker)"foreign flag". ahaha

Iron workers have the longest lasting erections.

Nice truck, sorry about your p*nis

-I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life.... as long as I die in the next 20 minutes.

-Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool!

If you don't live on the edge, you're taking up too much f**king space.

(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!

Proud parent of the kid who beat up your honor roll student

Don't steal your government doesn't like the competition.
Vote for Obama!
Women for Obama.
They're all funny to me.

"Stop laughing, fat people are harder to kidnap"

Saw this on my daily commute to work and could not stop laughing the rest of the day. This guy was at least 300 lbs. and in a Ford Festiva...

"who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

[color=red]Obama ![/color]
Half Honkey, ALL Donkey !

I am only speeding
Cause I have to poop!

The funniest license plate (I know, I don't have any funny bumper sticker stories right now) I ever saw was on a mid 80's Cadillac. What made it the funniest license plate was what happened right before I read it. Traffic was heavy and I noticed this Cadillac wanting to turn onto the road. So I slowed down and let him go. I looked at the driver and he looked at me and, i'm not sure how to explain it, he waved at me. It was a mix of a 3 Stooges greeting and something you might do while flirting with someone. So that caught me by surprise. Then I noticed his license plate, it read "BIG JIM". I felt kind of violated after that...

Steve

I live in Jackson, WY where the locals aren't to fond of all the people moving here:

"My Jackson has an East infection"

This might be a little dated but:

"Get off the phone and drive you yuppie scum"

nuvi's are sick. I was looking into buying one. to win one would be so much better. Love you crackberry

I seen one that said the ass family. under it it had five family members holding hands with there names under them. Wise, Smart, Lazy, Kiss, and Dumb

These are probably already up here, but I'm not going to go through 15 pages to find out :)

1. I love small, furry animals . . ., they go great with mashed potatoes and gravy

2. PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals

3. (upside down) If you can read this, please flip me over

If your close enough to read this, your nicked.

That was on the back of an unmarked police car in the UK.

It does wonders for tailgaters.

I want one.

I got a new Colt .45 for my wife, It was the best trade ever!

No College Tuition Call Bush

I may be slow but I am ahead of you!!!!!!

Hey,

People have stopped me and told me they like my bumper sticker, and I've seen some of them laugh in my rear-view. It might not be the funniest, but I like it!

"My Laborador Retreiver Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student"

Thank you very much.... : )

During the elections and the Palin is hot era...I saw this sticker twice:

McCain | MILF
2008

Support your local search and rescue....Get Lost!

I live on the east side of Orlando, not far from Daytona--45 minutes or so. I was at a stoplight in Orlando, and this REAL bumper sticker was on the truck in front of me: "I'm not speeding, I'm just qualifying."

"who needs freedom when the State can take care of us!"

Seen on an old beat-up VW minivan:

"Stop tailgating or I'll flick a booger at you"

PS: The minivan was my friend's and, just my luck, we broke down in it

I saw a bumper sticker that read "Stool Bus" on the back of a van for a Sewer Cleaning Specialist. Also on the back of the van was "Urine A-1 hands with us!" and "We're #1 in the #2 business"

Here are links to the pics (take out the space before "IMG"). It gave me a good laugh on a day when I desperately needed it!

http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r87/vaffanculo403/Random%20Pics/ IMG00004-20090921-1226.jpg

http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r87/vaffanculo403/Random%20Pics/ IMG00003-20090921-1226.jpg

...asked me to post this one. I don't find it funny. She does!

All men are idiots....I married their king.

What would Scooby Do?

THIS VEHICLE PROTECTED BY ANTI-THEFT STICKER

"BEER...helping people have sex since 1865"

Love a Nurse - PRN

(seen on the DC beltway in a blinding snowstorm on the back of a Honda Civic with chains - on the back!)

PS: PRN is medical lingo for "as needed" (like on a prescription)

"I'm only speeding cause I really have to POOP"!

"I'm late, I'm late"

on a white VW rabbit

"I used to have a handle on reality...but it broke"

HH
ZoSo50

looks like a nice app, trying now

I brake for Blackberry

"Thanks Officer, the last guy only gave me a warning also!"

the sticker said "OBAMA BIDEN '08"

my BB iPooped on your phone

the thing was i caught up to him and showed him mine and he showed me his.

"333: I'm only half evil"

1) Stay Back 50 Feet: Driver is texting.

2) Officer: Text Me the Speed Limit so I will see it

1) Stay Back 50 Feet: Driver is texting.

2) Officer: Text Me the Speed Limit so I will see it

Welfare Should be as Hard to Get as a Drug Conviction

If you are going to ride my ***, then atleast pull my hair

Driver Carries Less Than $20 in Ammunition

That Obama sticker on your car might as well say "Yes, I'm stupid"

Scion Box Car - You Just Got Passed By A Toaster

Too bad this software does not work with verizon.

#1 (on front bumper) I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting
#2 Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole
#3 I'm only speeding 'cause I really have to poop

"Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink"

"if you get any closer, i'll flick a booger on your windshield!"

1. If going to church makes you a Christian, Does going to the garage make you a mechanic?

2. God was my copilot, but he bailed at the last corner.

"Keep Honking: I'M STILL IN FRONT"

"My Kid can beat up your honor student any time, any place."

Riding behind this lady in a Corvette with the top down and on the bumper sticker was "Cha-ching, let the cash register ring."I loved it.

You looked better on My Space

Don't follow me. I'm lost too

Driver carries no cash. He's married.

I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over

I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell

Breast cancer ribbon and the words, "Save the Boobies"

alright, let's level for a second here. i like bumper stickers as much as the next person, they're witty, relevant, and can usually manage to offend someone... obviously i'm in full support. but let's be honest, how many bumper stickers do you actually see on the back of the car in front of you while driving? never. unless it's that same damn black and white "TOOL" or "NIN" sticker on the back of every black civic made in the 90s. but alas, neither of those are my favorite, for they don't fit my aforementioned formula for bumper sticker success. and what is a bumper sticker if it is not on a bumper? it's nothing more than a sticker! thus i digress, 95% of you are liars and the bumper stickers you claim to have seen were not on bumpers, hence merely stickers. the other 5% just googled "silly bumper stickers" or "honk if you like hanson... then drive into a tree." in an attempt to maintain the integrity of this contest, i have decided this: this is my entry. of course i still want the garmin.

This vehicle is protected by anti-theft sticker

Fat people are harder to kidnap

* Lead, Follow or get the fuck out of my way.

What makes this so funny is, its on the rear bumber

1)If you beleive in telekinesis raise my hand !

2)Milk duds on board !

"Hurt? Call Kurt."

Makes no sense. No phone number. Nothing.

Probably the best one I've seen was on a hummer.

#1 --> "Snipers - 3
Pirates - 0"

#2 --> "I need a girl whose name doesn't end in .jpg"

#3 --> "Voldemort votes Republican"

Those are the best 3 I can remember off the top of my head at least

The funniest one i've ever read...

Driver carries no cash
He's Married!

For all you married dudes, you know it's true!! :P

"I found Him...I have Jesus in the trunk"

"Don't Drink and Drive.
You Might Hit a Bump
and Spill Your Drink!"

I saw "LOL CAT" on a BMW M5 in San Francisco Bay area, on the bay bridge. It made me and my brother laugh out loud and took a picture of it!

Just saw this one tonight and it put a smile on my face

BUCK FUSH!

I'm only speeding cause I really have to poop.

Poop jokes, always fun.

I once saw a car with a bumper sticker that read, "If I lived in my car, I'd be home already."

Straigh, white, Republican Male. How else can I piss you off today?

on a dodge diesel truck "quit stroking and start cummin"

Picture this: man in a snowsuit shoveling snow off his front porch in Florida and calling to his wife - "Get another shovel and help get this Global Warming off the front porch!" You'd have to see it to get the full affect.

This beat up truck in front of me had a sticker of a crazy looking monkey with it's butt to whomever was looking and it then said "hit me one more time i dare you". lmao

"To be cummin', you have to be strokin'. To be strokin', you have to be hard Like a Rock."

1# Learn Spanish! Jesus is coming.
2# Keep honking, I'm reloading.
3# www.offmyass.com

Whoppee!, Traffic is the first app I tried on my relatively new Tour and it works great. Wish I could remember the good bumper stickers (like jokes), can't remember them when you need one. How's this: If congress got on their BBs and really told us what they were doing, how long do you think they would last?

"I wish this grass were emo,
so it would cut itself!!!"

so many pedestrians so little time

My bumper sticker entry is: "To Err Is Human, To Blame It On Someone Else Is Politics"

"Life's a b!tc# and so am I"
Made me laugh.

But seriously, I get turned around too easily. My wife actually gets mad about it. Please help save my marriage. I need this :-)

If you can count the hair on my a** then youre too close!
That one cracked me up

This is a DUAL FUEL VEHICLE
(it burns gas AND oil!)

the ass family

wise (picture of a person on top)

smart (")

lazy (")

kiss (")

dumb (")

The Government does not steal...... Just ask the indians!

I'm so bada** my sperm smokes marlboro

....................................

If you can't Dodge it... Ram it

.....................................

Your mother should have Swallowed you

...................................

Mean people Suck, but Nice ones Swallow

#1 "This Car is Protected by Anti-Theft Sticker"
#2 "Lost Your Cat? Try Looking Under My Tires"
#3 "Jesus Loves you... Everyone Else Thinks You're and A55H0LE"

saw this on the net before

its funny and scary ! :) which we all need to read

drive safely
we have :
*2 cemeteries
*No Hospital

If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

i neeeed this one

Seen on a van for a drilling firm in Essex, UK, on 22 Oct 09.
"We aim to leave every customer with a satisfied hole"

im not as think as you drunk i am ossifer---------funny

"Your stupid!"

It amused me because, unlike most people who are stupid and would see this as a perfect sentence. It was obvious the driver knew the error and it should say "You're stupid!".

This led way to the amusing irony of the sticker, what can I say? I'm sad.

Does this app work in the UK?

Pick me up please.

::Protect your children, Pornstar aboard::

Friends don't let friends get a Mullet!

...but enough sucking up...for now. :D

Maybe I wouldn't have driven my Mustang so far up my next door neighbor's ass (yea, that's you, Dr. Martin! I wish you followed this site, you bible thumping hypocritical cokesniffing bigot) if he didn't put sh** like "If you can read this, you're following too closely" on his fu**ing SUV.

I'll never understand why otherwise intelligent people take it upon themselves to want to saaaavvvvveee me, or brainwash their daughter. hahah...that felt good.

"Midwives help people out" - subtle and clever!

I saw one that said:
Cat, the other white meat

"My average student beat up your honor student"

I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!

"YOUR POVERTY MAKES ME SICK"

Please pick me, I purchased a used TOM TOM recently. Come to find out the battery inside is shot. It will not operate unless hard wired. :( I so could use a nice new one to bail me out of this bad purchase.

Thanks Crackberry for offering this wonderful contests!!!

"Pedo Bear Approved" decal....freaking hilarious.

At least pull my hair if you're gonna ride my ass

Are you a Crack-head ?

(Crackberry Logo)

"My kid beat up your honor-role student"

DRIVE CAREFULLY - MOST PEOPLE ARE CAUSED BY ACCIDENT

I'm one bad relationship away from owning 30 CATS

My Labrador Retriever is smart than you honor student...

Somewhere in Texas there's a village that's missing their idiot

"I'm not a born again....I got it right the first time"

The funniest one that I have seen or can remember lately said: "Buttholes Read Bumper Stickers!" Ha! I thought that was too funny and ironic at the same time, lol.

On the back of a RV - "Spending my kids Inheritance"

if you can read this, you are too close

"If I wanted a hummer, I would have called your sister"

Abortion causes breast cancer

"I Wish My Wife Was This Dirty"

Mean People Suck

Jesus loves you.
Everyone else thinks your an a#$hole.

"All I want is a change to prove that money wont make me happy!"

I saw this on the back of a new Chevrolet Camaro that had markings like the Transformer 'Bumblebee':

Stop looking at my a%%

"My kid impregnanted your honor student"

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy it.

Nice Hummer. Sorry about the small penis.

Apathetic Driver at Wheel

PS, I really need the Garmin since I can't download the traffic.com app to my pearl. App World says my device (8130) or carrier (Sprint) wont accept it.

I have one that says "Who Tweeted?" And has the twitter bird flying with small twitter birds falling out of its butt area like its pooping tweets :$

You! Out of the Gene Pool!

Get a Garmin or get lost!

I Might Be Slow But I'm Ahead Of You.

I didn't ask to be a Princess but if the crown fits...

I Brake For Scholars, Priests, and No Apparent Reason

Stupidity Is Not a Crime, So You're Free To Go

Stop Honking! I'm Already Visualizing The Duct Tape Over Your Mouth!!

Watch Out for the Idiot Behind Me!

There are two types of pedestrians: The Quick and The Dead

hopefully this will tell me WHAT is causing the traffic

Very funny Scotty! Now beam down my clothes!

Custer got what he deserved

Saw It! Wanted It! Threw A Fit! Got It!

Probably not the best I've seen, but I saw it the other day so it's fresh in my mind:
New Orleans: We Put The 'Fun' In Funeral.

Mothers with teenages know why some animals eat their young

If You're Rich, I'm Single!

Here is one I read yesterday:

"Don't confuse your rank over my authority."

It belonged to a soldier's wife.

thanks CB for another great opportunity.

If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough

According to my calculations, this problem doesn't exist

"Somewhere in Texas there is a village missing their idiot"

(in big letters)

"SAVE A WHALE!!!!"
(under it in smaller letters)

'spear britney'

Some funny ones i've seen..

1. "If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

2. "My dachshund is smarter than your honor student."

3. "I'm only speeding cause I really have to POOP."

4. "Take your ex out tonight.... (one bullet oughta do it)."

5. "Jesus is coming, look busy!"

6. "I'm hung like Einstein and as smart as a horse."

7. "Caution: I drive like you."

I drive the Pennsylvania Turnpike a lot... so I see quite a few.

i just saw this bumper sticker this morning "New Coke mini: Now with 36% less death!" lol.. good luck to everyone

The bumper sticker in the back of my jeep days " If I wanted a hummer, I would ask your sister."

The bumper sticker in the back of my jeep days " If I wanted a hummer, I would ask your sister."

stop reading this and watch the road.

stop was actually a stop sign.

"When seconds count...
The police are only minutes away."

(pro-gun bumper sticker, but even if that's not your thing; it's funny and does a good job emphasizing why LEGAL gun-owners aren't bad people... i.e. for wanting to protect their families.)

The back of my jeep it says," If I wanted a hummer, I would ask your sister."

There is no place like 127.0.0.1.

hope I win

As opposed to Obama 08'. LOL

As opposed to Obama 08'. LOL

"You can follow me, but it's gonna hurt"

"At least my kid can beat up beat your honor student"

"I can't go any faster or I'll burn our my hamsters!"

There is plenty of room for all God's creatures....
Right next to the mashed potatoes.

Voted for Obama?

Buyer's remorse set in yet?

If you can read this, You're to close! Back up Bi_ch!

"If You're Not a Hemheroid, Get Off My Ass!"

"keep honking buddy, I'm reloading."

ACTUALLY was a completely blacked out H2, with the "HUMMER" inlay in the rear bumper chromed out (so it stood out)...

right above it was his personalized tag that said... "IDLOVEA"

not a bumper sticker, but I think it fits in the convo... now lets get me that Nuvi!

Problem? Tell it to the priest. He's the only one that has to believe you, or at least act like he does!

If you think education is expensive...
try ignorance!

If your going to sext and drive do it safe...
Buckle up!

"Officer, I swear I'm only speeding because I really, really have to Sh*t!" hahaha I rarely laugh at bumper stickers, but that one made me chuckle...

Love is Grand...
Divorce is 20 Grand $$$

I had this one made cuz the traffic here is gay:
Honk if you like my nuts.

Never vote for a man who shoots his friend in the face

Cant get a bumper sticker on a chopper so you wear a nice biker t-shirt----
If you can read this the B!%@h fell off

Call 1-800-EAT-S**T

POOP OCCURS

Well my son beat up your honor kid

WOW

on the back of a porta-pottie pump-out tank truck:

CAUTION!
This tank is full of political promises!

UR Colege Sucks

how can say no to a GPS i hope u will

Eat more Beans, We need more gas

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

"You've Been A Very Bad Girl... Now Go To My Room."

"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."

I googled the funniest bumper stickers to win this Garmin!

" My lug-nuts require more torque than your import puts out"

"Jesus on board"

"If it flies, let it die"

"If it's brown, shoot it down"

My Child Sells Drugs To Your Honor Student.

ooo "i wish you had it cus i do" my friends car is a piece of shit so he has that

ooo "i wish you had it cus i do" my friends car is a piece of shit so he has that

"Low Riders Are For Guys That Can't Get it up"

"Fruits Are People Too"

"Drink Apple Juice: OJ Will Kil You"

"I brake for...

Oh Sh*t! No Brakes!!!"

but it's gold:

Jesus is coming. Everyone look busy!

A Bill Cosby Bumper sticker that made him do bill Cosby aerobics when the sun hit it, I DIED LAUGHING!!!!

if youve never seen the bill Cosby aerobics here it i...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS8UWQeqw0c

Bumper Sticker:

"If you voted for Obama, you can't shit here because your asshole is in the Whitehouse"

Just a bumper sticker, not necessarily my views...

Bumper Sticker:

S.A.S.R.
Speeders Against Ski Racks

If you're a lead foot you hate it when you think a cop car pulls behind you at night so you slow down only to find out it's just somebody with a ski rack on top of their car.

"Every time you touch yourself,

2 Jesus fish overlapping at the mouths, like a reflection, forming an eye in the middle.

Jesus is watching."

The Funniest sticker I have come across is....

I wonder if You'd drive any Better if that CELLPHONE was up your BUTT!

I don’t have a license to kill. But I do have a learners permit.

If you can read this I'm not going fast enuff

how is my driving?? call 1-800-f**kyou

thi onlee tast i eevr past was thi wun tu git this her lycence

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

do you kiss your mother with that mouth??.... oh you do.... can i watch??

if this car is a rocking then my wife and her f**king boyfriend are in it!!

hi my name is dave and i'm addicted to texting

no officer i don't know how fast i was going i was to busy txting

Saw this one last night:

"Republicans for Voldemort"

Ladies dig shiny RIMs (with a picture of a tour, storm, bold, and curve)

No Parking on the Grass.

My Gamer Kid Fragged Your Honor Student

The funniest one I saw was years ago and it took a minute for me to "get it." It said "Illiterate? Write for help!" Some of those posted here are hilarious!

2 months ago I was in La Mesa, Ca and I saw this on a bumper sticker:

Wag more...bark less.

Beer is now cheaper than Gas. Drink, don't drive!
I've read about the evils of drinking...So I gave up reading.

Veni, Vidi, VD. I came, I saw, I cankered.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

we were winnin when i left

i hope i win!

since.. the bumper sticker is,

"0 to 60 mph in 5 minutes"

save that precious time of 5 minutes with this baby ;]

"Lost Your Cat? Try Looking Under My Tires"

"If you're reading this, you need to press the brake."

"jesus or hell; your choice :)"

Bumper sticker and saw it painted on the tailgate of a truck!

O.B.A.M.A
One Big Ass Mistake America

pick me

I've seen a couple of ones I thought were great:

#1) Be nice to America, or we'll bring democracy to your country

#2) Monica Lewinsky's X-Boyfriend's Wife for President

#3) Not really a bumper sticker: But very funny
You see those family / kids’ activity stickers on the rear windows of vehicles everywhere; you may even have one on your car. So far, this one is my personal favorite …

Above the figures it says:
The Ass Family...then it goes on to name the family members as:

(Husband)-Wise
(Wife)-Smart
(Oldest son)-Lazy
(Daughter)-Kiss
(Youngest boy)-Dumb

Cracks me up when seen in real life :)

Don't crack Ur car, Crack Ur berry!