Dear Berry Dear Berry,

I'm having a real problem at home. I don't know if you have read the many requests by leaders of churches to give up our main communication gadget, e.g., Blackberry for Lent. Well my wife decided she would give up hers for the forty days but I gave up my favorite food. Ever since this decision I have been getting nothing but grief from her. We have been arguing and, I believe she resents me for not choosing to give up my Blackberry. Can you help? 

- A Religious Dilemma

Dear "A Religious Dilemma",

Thank you for writing.

I definitely see the issue. Please understand, I am not making a religious comment or judgment in any way. It seems to me that you went one way with your decision and your wife went another ( of course in my opinion her decision was much harder, however that is subjective). I wonder how you have made this decision in the past? Have both of you given up the same thing? Is this the first year that you have departed from a standard between the two of you? If so, I'm sure she wanted someone with her to give up their BB because all of us know how difficult that is to do :-) so her disappointment might be coming from that thought. She needed a "partner" to be able to actually give up their BB for forty days, even though she thought it was the best thing to do. So it's possible she resents you for not going along with her. On the "other hand", it was her decision and you didn't think it was necessary or a decision for you, then you have a right to your individual decision.

Who would have thought that the BB addiction would create even an issue for Lent? Life really was much easier when the family just gave up meat!

- Berry

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