A CrackBerry Christmas Carol... Jingle Bells, Android Smells!

Jingle Bells
By Kevin Michaluk on 23 Nov 2011 12:38 pm
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December isn't quite here, but for some reason I'm already thinking about the holiday season (could be the fact I was listening to my Christmas playlist while typing up the BlackBerry Curve 9380 Review). If you follow @crackberrykevin on twitter you may have caught early wind of that festive spirit yesterday when I tweeted out the chorus to a CrackBerry'd up rendition of Jingle Bells. The chorus was a big hit, so our own Ryan Blundell took a first crack at finishing up the lyrics. Sing it outloud and leave your feedback in the comments. Once we get the lyrics perfected you just know a video rendition of this soon to be holiday classic will be hitting the blogs. Happy (early) Holidays!

CrackBerry Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow
In a BlackBerry 7 sleigh
O'er the BES they go
encrypted all the way
3 Bells on phone calls ring
Make my led bright
What fun it is to email, ping
And tweet ‘til late at night

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

A day or two ago
My friend gave me a ride
for GPS he had
and iPhone by his side
the battery life was rank
and Siri's directions sucked
We got into a drifted bank
and he knew he we were f*ck'n stuck!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Every day or so,
Someone feels compelled
To tell me to switch phones
I respond with "Go to Hell!"
Some guy was walking by
In some Windows Tango craze,
I laughed and hit him with my PlayBook,
in an OtterBox, just in case.

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Kevin love his BlackBerrys white
His hopes for BBX are strong,
Hit the Apple Store tonight
and sing this fanboy song;
For the top stories today
The next two lines take heed
There's way too many sites out there
but CrackBerry takes the lead!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Kevin Michaluk Kevin Michaluk "Founder, Editor in Chief " 3922 (articles) 3285 (forum posts)
46 comments

BB_Bmore

hilarious lol

jingle bell's pb owners yell
"give me 2.0..
rim made it clear,
February next year,
i hope bbx will show...O

misskalunji

LOL i'm so using the chorus

chiefbroski

Awesome, love it! GO Blackberry GO!

alainas

This is just awesome and plain fun. :-)

XPEH

Would love to see the choir of Kevin, Bla1ze, Adam, Michelle and everyone on the CB team singing this.

qbnkelt

It just made my FB status!!! :-D

xtremez

There should be an Mp3 for this!!

00stryder

Lol that's awesome! I can't sing it out but it sounded good in my head. Great job guys!

grant.palin

Too funny. Would love to hear/see a performance!

BlackBerry4LifeVince

So funny! Happy holidays to everyone on team BlackBerry

theonlyjrod

Nice work, this is super funny!!!!

~
@JrodWallz
@ProThemeDesigns
ProThemeDesigns.com

dasDestruktion

...too bad those OS7 sleighs keep blowing up! :/

thecsman

OS7 makes your device a genuine firecracker! YAY!

Rootbrian

GOING UP WITH A BANG! :D

Taz.

Kevin, an idea:

Make a contest about making a video clip with those lyrics for the holidays !

gorith

YES!!!! I second this motion!

thepinkcurve

+10000000000000000000000000000000000000

robertyhn

I wanna see Kevin sing this now.

siddo_d

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL OMG SO FUNNY #teamblackberry

batrad

loving it .. is there an MP3 that I can play at my party and rub it to all the iPhone owners (Its more like iPhone 50 / Blackberry 2 at our parties)?

sk8er_tor

Haha, very funny. Go BlackBerry!

captain_tinker

This is hilarious! I just printed out the picture and put it up on the outside of my cube. This is sure to cause a stir in the iPhone and Android heavy environment here, this is going to be FUN! ;-D

Mummy2

A sophomoric ditty won't change reality. Right now RIM is up to eyeballs in yuck and suck. Oh, wait. I guess your song is for Christmas 2012, on the assumption that BBX phones finally hit and are a hit.

dodger_moore

Wow I bet you're a lot of fun at parties! So much bitterness, have a word with yourself lol.

MXBerry

Now we just need some to record these with the music on the background and we are good to go!!!!!

yvpan1

LOL! but great job kevin, this should be 1 of the marketing gimmicks of RIM!

Accidental Post

The original version actually went like this:

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
Windows Yuck and RIM stock sucks
Apple all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
Windows Yuck and RIM stock sucks
Apple all the way, hey!

Or the the other version where webOS is replaced by Mike and Jim

Rootbrian

lol

Now we can see stuff about Linux, windows, OSX, other things and also, every bit of technology. :D

DarshOne

notice iphone and android users do not need stupid songs to convince themselves their OS is better than the competition.

kevinnugent

It's funny that I never see things like this on Apple or Windows or webOS sites. Sort of telling, really.

klkd

Is this supposed to cheer us stockholders up, if so its not working.

16 fucking dollars! jesus christ rimm get your shit together.

Rootbrian

it's salty as fuck, but it goes ever so well with beef and turkey. Yum. Only costs $0.16 ($10 less)

raskal1130

I started reading this article without even checking who wrote it, then came the carol, I knew this was Kevin's post. It's just something he would do. CB Nation is behind you Kevin. That was hilarious and awesome. Thanks very much for making me laugh. :).

Rootbrian

Anybody with negativity who cannot take humour or laughter, has issues.
HAVE A LAUGH FOR ONCE!!! lol

Great work kevin, looking forward to a video of the CB team singing it. :)

Aesthetics45

Not even android does this...