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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from CrackBerry!

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from CrackBerry!

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A CrackBerry Christmas Carol... Jingle Bells, Android Smells!

Jingle Bells
By Kevin Michaluk on 23 Nov 2011 12:38 pm EST
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December isn't quite here, but for some reason I'm already thinking about the holiday season (could be the fact I was listening to my Christmas playlist while typing up the BlackBerry Curve 9380 Review). If you follow @crackberrykevin on twitter you may have caught early wind of that festive spirit yesterday when I tweeted out the chorus to a CrackBerry'd up rendition of Jingle Bells. The chorus was a big hit, so our own Ryan Blundell took a first crack at finishing up the lyrics. Sing it outloud and leave your feedback in the comments. Once we get the lyrics perfected you just know a video rendition of this soon to be holiday classic will be hitting the blogs. Happy (early) Holidays!

CrackBerry Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow
In a BlackBerry 7 sleigh
O'er the BES they go
encrypted all the way
3 Bells on phone calls ring
Make my led bright
What fun it is to email, ping
And tweet ‘til late at night

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

A day or two ago
My friend gave me a ride
for GPS he had
and iPhone by his side
the battery life was rank
and Siri's directions sucked
We got into a drifted bank
and he knew he we were f*ck'n stuck!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Every day or so,
Someone feels compelled
To tell me to switch phones
I respond with "Go to Hell!"
Some guy was walking by
In some Windows Tango craze,
I laughed and hit him with my PlayBook,
in an OtterBox, just in case.

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Kevin love his BlackBerrys white
His hopes for BBX are strong,
Hit the Apple Store tonight
and sing this fanboy song;
For the top stories today
The next two lines take heed
There's way too many sites out there
but CrackBerry takes the lead!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Reader comments

A CrackBerry Christmas Carol... Jingle Bells, Android Smells!

46 Comments

hilarious lol

jingle bell's pb owners yell
"give me 2.0..
rim made it clear,
February next year,
i hope bbx will show...O

Would love to see the choir of Kevin, Bla1ze, Adam, Michelle and everyone on the CB team singing this.

Kevin, an idea:

Make a contest about making a video clip with those lyrics for the holidays !

loving it .. is there an MP3 that I can play at my party and rub it to all the iPhone owners (Its more like iPhone 50 / Blackberry 2 at our parties)?

This is hilarious! I just printed out the picture and put it up on the outside of my cube. This is sure to cause a stir in the iPhone and Android heavy environment here, this is going to be FUN! ;-D

A sophomoric ditty won't change reality. Right now RIM is up to eyeballs in yuck and suck. Oh, wait. I guess your song is for Christmas 2012, on the assumption that BBX phones finally hit and are a hit.

The original version actually went like this:

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
Windows Yuck and RIM stock sucks
Apple all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS go away
Windows Yuck and RIM stock sucks
Apple all the way, hey!

Or the the other version where webOS is replaced by Mike and Jim

notice iphone and android users do not need stupid songs to convince themselves their OS is better than the competition.

Is this supposed to cheer us stockholders up, if so its not working.

16 fucking dollars! jesus christ rimm get your shit together.

I started reading this article without even checking who wrote it, then came the carol, I knew this was Kevin's post. It's just something he would do. CB Nation is behind you Kevin. That was hilarious and awesome. Thanks very much for making me laugh. :).

Anybody with negativity who cannot take humour or laughter, has issues.
HAVE A LAUGH FOR ONCE!!! lol

Great work kevin, looking forward to a video of the CB team singing it. :)