The CrackBerry Christmas Carol... 2013 Edition!

Jingle Bells, Android Smells!

A CrackBerry Christmas Carol!
By Kevin Michaluk on 19 Dec 2013 12:21 pm
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Looking back at 2013, it's really been a year of Vulcan-like logic around CrackBerry and our other Mobile Nations sites. With events like Talk Mobile 2013, we pulled back from the unadulterated fanboyism that we at times like to embrace around these parts in favor of more unbiased analysis and discussion.

And while I love logic, I also have a great appreciation for PASSION, and we all know a little fanboy product love is a byproduct of passion. I hate it when people give fanboys a hard time. I mean, people cheer for their favorite sports teams all the time (and bring on a little hateration for the ones they're playing against) and nobody seems to mind that, so why shouldn't the same be for products? I know I've been cheered on my favorite companies since I was an early teenager, whether it was Team Associated RC cars, Ski-Doo snowmobiles and more recently my favorite mobile tech company, BlackBerry.

So in the spirit of BlackBerry passion and the Christmas season, we've re-jigged the lyrics slightly to our infamous CrackBerry Christmas carol which was first published in 2011 (kudos to Ryan Blundell for original lyrics). Sing it below. Here's to a Merry Christmas to all BlackBerry users, and a happy 2014! 

CrackBerry Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow
In a BlackBerry 10 sleigh
O'er the BES they go
encrypted all the way
Three bells on phone calls ring
Make my LED bright
What fun it is to email, ping
And tweet ‘til late at night

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

A day or two ago
My friend gave me a ride
for GPS he had
and iPhone by his side
the battery life was rank
and Siri's directions sucked
We got into a drifted bank
and he knew we were f*ck'n stuck!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Every day or so,
Someone feels compelled
To tell me to switch phones
I respond with "Go to Hell!"
Some guy was walking by
In some Windows Update 3 craze,
I laughed and hit him with my Z30,
in an OtterBox, just in case.

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Kevin love his BlackBerrys white
His hopes for John Chen are strong,
Hit the Apple Store tonight
and sing this fanboy song;
For the top stories today
The next two lines take heed
There's way too many sites out there
but CrackBerry takes the lead!

Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!
Oh, jingle bells, Android smells
webOS has gone away
iPhone Yuck and Windows Phones suck
BlackBerry all the way, hey!

Kevin Michaluk Kevin Michaluk "Founder, Editor in Chief " 3921 (articles) 3285 (forum posts)
85 comments

SEAWARRIOR

that's the first time i've seen something so creative & witty,,, well done...

imcurved

This is the second time I heard this tune from Crackberry.

Posted via CB10

The_Adventist

Yes, but longer this year with added verses.

TranceRomance

Good job!

Posted via CB10 with my T-Mobile  ‎BlackBerry Q10...SON!

BionicKris

+1 Bravo!

Posted via CB10

mcgowan398

Including the fact that every single OS listed in the song are way better than BlackBerry®

~Posted via Nexus 5™

Medium Brown

Nice! Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Posted with my awesome Z30

Lukeozade

Classic Kevin

Posted via CB10

swapnilsj

Niceeee..merry Christmas

Posted via CB10 with lovely Z10...

noisey_boy

That put a smile on my face. :-)

Posted via CB10

galdad

You should turn it into a ring tone.

Posted via CB10

imcurved

We need some free Xmas ringtones. Anybody knows where to get them? Thanks.

Posted via CB10

The_Adventist

Seriously? You can't get enough Holiday music on the radio, at shopping malls, tv ads, or anywhere else you turn, you want it on your phone too? LOL, not on my devices.

greenberry666

Podcast performance by all the CB team, if you please.

Unripe

BlackBerryMeansHappiness

Good lol

Posted via BlackBerry Z10

Revord

Hateration? Kevin, are you still making up your own vocabulary? Lol

Posted via CB10

R Field

Beautiful :)

BlackBerry Z30 | 10.2.1.1055 | BBM Channel C0006E212

Kevin Michaluk

If anybody wants to record this into a song and sing it out w/ music.. we'll blog it!

DJ Reyes

I did one two years ago....need to find it

Posted via CB10

The_Adventist

Not without a giveway attached. LOL

R Field

Get Lil B lol

BlackBerry Z30 | 10.2.1.1055 | BBM Channel C0006E212

ghundiraj

By this time tomorrow, you shall have received it. Where should I email it?

QuIcKsIlV3r

I'm waiting for Kevin, Michelle, Bla1ze, Adam and Chris and Alicia and James and DJ to get on a podcast and sing it live!

Alicia Erlich

I'm in. We could all sing a verse :)

Posted via CB10

Michelle Haag

Nobody wants to hear me sing. :P

DStLouis

...in front a Christmas tree all decorated with blinking BlackBerry devices (and maybe some CB orange ribbons)

Whyareallthegoodnamestaken

Haha love it and you're right, it's hard being a fan boy these days :-( Don't see what's wrong with it.

Parrillas NY

Great!!! sing!!! everybody in all the world!!! Merry Chritsmas Everyone!!

Your Crackberry friend in Honduras, Central America!!

Best Wishes!! and Greetings!!

j_rawal67@yahoo.co.uk

Excellent.....great chuckle on way home from London....well done.

Posted via CB10

technology1105

Awesome!

Posted via Q10 on T-Mobile U.S.A

Dupinder Singh Ghotra

Superb!! Love it like anything... Merry Christmas everyone !! :D

Posted via Ferrari Red Z10/STL 100-2 "Developer's edition" OS 10.2.1.XXXX

nick canada

That was great thanks kevin.
Merry Christmas everyone or Happy Holidays

Posted via CB10

aloomis76

Warms my heart and brightens my soul :D

Siya10

A w e s o m e! X)

Posted via CB10

BBstarBB

Totally awesome. Hehe.

VR6

Nice revamp Kev, please perform this on video

agarwal.apar

What a classic!! Kudos to Ryan for the lyrics.. Merry Christmas!! *star* *hugs*

bigglybobblyboo

Love it!

No apologies.

BlackBerry Rules...

Posted via CB10

TheNoseybonk

Surprised the moderators haven't made you alter the words of the chorus. I was ticked off the other day for daring to 'dis' our Android and Apple cousins in a comical way.

Posted via CB10

xhead75

Pitch it to Mark Wilson. XD

Z30 FTW - Posted via CB10

TheNoseybonk

Oh wait, you probably are one!!

Posted via CB10

tw820

Lol,thats cool!

Posted via CB10

clmazda

Haha I like it! Good job guys!

Postes via CB10 on my Z10

Ragbert

Hahaha, that was great! :-D

Posted via my Q10. :-D

Chanlion

I'm not a big fan of the platform hate but have to say, this is a pretty quirky fanboy song. Like it.

jaydee5799

Hysterical! love it ! Thanks!

freddysrevng

Berry Christmas to CB Nation.....

2014 is going to be the "Year of the BlackBerry"......

From CB on the Z30

freddysrevng

Good to see they found Kevin.....

His picture can be taken off the Egg Nog Carton....

BB_Junky

Awesome MERRY CHRISTMAS Crackberry!!

Posted via CB10

Christophe Piquemal

:)

Waiting for the poscast!

Merry Christmas everyone!

G-bone

Warms the heart like a rum and egg nog!

#IchooseBlackBerry10

Posted via CB10

Olivia francoi

Perfect song for Christmas...

Posted via CB10

Lenin17301

And your stock is worth next to nothing... I thank the heavens I was not around here when Blackberry mattered.

jojo beaconsfield

Merry Christmas,to the team and their awesome leader!!

mikeec67

That's my new favourite Christmas song by far. Thanks Kevin & Merry Christmas to CrackBerry Nation!!!

bjschey

We need a music video with the CrackBerry staff singing this. Bring the CrackBerry community an even more joyous Christmas and make it happen PLEASE!!!!

Posted via CB10

moonfalle

Love it!!

Posted via CB10

red72

Love it. Happy Holidays Everyone!

QNXBB10

Love it to funny

Posted via CB10

remus2k

Sorry Kevin, but that was really poorly written and bordering on awful.

Great effort though, just a poor result.

Hopefully next year BB is still around so you can take another crack at it. ;)

switmelody0109

I love it! Blackberry and Christmas spirit!

Posted via CB10

Wormp2Frank

Fantastic jingle. Hoping it will Crack the Billboard top 100 for 2013

Posted via CB10

John Mas0N

Love this ...how long before those sub-standard OS users mentioned in the song realize that their new credit and debit apps are at risk without BlackBerry encryption :D

dediharyadi

Standing Applause...plok...plok...Merry Christmas 2013 CrackBerry Friends

Posted via CB10

omekaac

Marry Christmas to we all.

Posted via CB10

nexus2905

Lol that's great made my day.

Posted via CB10

Aahleksh

It amazes me how many non-blackberry users took the time to comment here and give a bad rap on the said OS. Enough! We love Blackberry. We love Crackberry. So shove your opinion on some other site that may care because the fanbase here in Crackberry for Blackberry OS and devices will noooooot make the switch. Blackberry all the way punk.

SQN100-3, Manila via CB10 App

ririeisdead

Going to share it around. Fanboy it is

nt300

LOL, Awesome....
Merry Christmas
Kαλά Xριστούγεννα

yokogeri374

Good one ! Merry Christmas :)

cmdaga

Brilliant stuff. Simply amazing.
+1 if you were singing along in rhythm.

Posted via the ultimate mobile compu...should I even need to mention???

wyrdfool

Meri Kurisumasu Minna!
Merry Christmas, Everybody!

BGK

Great work - love the lyrics! Merry Christmas all !

Mia Hawkins

Love it! Merry Christmas everyone. Hoping for better BB days to come

Posted via CB10

guygardner73

No, just no.

Z10STL100-2/10.2.1.1055 O2 UK

Stephen Ijango

I am very thrilled with the iPhone's Siri part, "...and he knew we were f*ck'n stuck!". Outstanding!

nerdydaddyo

That sounds like the old Kevin and not the Benedict Arnold/iPhone and Android carrying traitor we see before us now. The Rimpire is no more: the force is gone in that one. Fanboy enough?

I used my Z10 to create this CrackBerry madness!

YTDW2000

Great marketing gimmick, keep this sort of thing up. Creates a positive spin.

Sent from my BlackBerry Z30

zdn1042

LOL. Silly BlackBerry! I like it. Hahaha.