Warning: Read at own risk. May not be suitable for all workplaces. If easily offended, just scroll down to the next post. For the rest of you, enjoy the show! Please note, this article is no longer current. Many of the apps posted in this article are no longer available for BlackBerry OS phones.
So here's the deal. As I type this I'm less than 48 hours away from my 30th birthday. I'm not too freaked out by the notion of turning the big THREE OH... afterall, age really is just a number and I'm pretty sure I act and feel like I did when I was 21. That said, just in case I wake up on my birthday and out of no where start acting like I'm probably supposed to (you know... a mature, responsible adult), I figured I'd end my fun-loving twenties here on the CrackBerry blogs pushing the boundaries just a bit with a fun-loving post. So here it is, our first-ever BlackBerry Adult Apps Roundup! And if you think about it, if I am going to finally start acting like an adult now, shouldn't I be knowledgable about adult apps??
It turns out putting together a roundup of adult-oriented BlackBerry Apps wasn't that hard to do. All it requires is a browse through our CrackBerry App Store and you can find quite a few adult-oriented apps, utilities and themes put out there by BlackBerry developers for those who like to sex up their devices. Keep reading for some eye-catching apps, and if you like what you see be sure to drop us a comment!
Here we go... a list of BlackBerry apps that are guaranteed to get you excited. If anybody ever tells you BlackBerry apps suck, just send them to this post! Take note, for the most part I listed the full retail prices of apps where applicable, but MOST of them are on sale for pretty decent discounts, so be sure to click through on an app if you're interested for it's current price.
This one is pretty briliant. Screen X is a battery charging screen saver app. Plugin your dead BlackBerry to let it charge and you'll see a fully dressed girl on the screen. As your battery charges, the girl takes off her clothes. Two versions are currently available, forest and secretary. The forest version features a cute girl stripping down in a forest scene while the secretary version has a smartly-dressed secretary taking it off.
Both verions are non-XXX as you download/buy them from the CrackBerry app store, but once purchased you'll receive an email with details on downloading the free expansion pack, which doubles the amount of photos and umm.. shows even less clothing when fully charged (as in like..uhh.. none). If word gets out about this one, I have a feeling it's destined to be a #1 best seller. Oops...I guess word just got out. My bad. This one sells for $4.00 normally. Oh, and I hear the developers are contemplating a male version of this for all the ladies out there. If you want to see that happen, drop a comment let them know!
Long time CrackBerry readers may already be familiar with Sexy Dice, as we've covered it here on the blogs a couple times before (post 1; post 2). This one is pretty straight forward, so I'll borrow from the official description for this one:
Sexy Dice is a 3D dice game for the bedroom, parties, and even a great pickup tool! Including 3 (Now Four!) high resolution 3D rendered dice sets including the PG dice set with wording suitable for teenagers and perhaps non sexually active users but works just as well in the bedroom. The rated R dice set steps it up a notch for adults looking to spice up their love life and add some excitement while getting to use the Blackberry in the bedroom! By enabling adult mode, you get access to this rated R dice set free of charge! Also included free of charge is a regular standard old dice set for every day use wherever a set of dice can come in handy. Board games, craps, gambling with friends, etc. Now if you pull out monopoly to play with friends and if your mising a die as always, just grab your Storm and enjoy!
Sexy Dice sells for $3.99 and is available for both touchscreen and non-touchscreen BlackBerry Smartphones. If you wanna have some fun this weekend, you can learn more and download it at the links below.
This app isn't quite suitable for youg children (well, I guess none of apps in this roundup are), but for those who want to engage in some naughty chatting via their BlackBerry sext codes helps make it easier. It's a simple app that presents a list of internet/SMS "sexting codes" such as "TDTM" and "SOG". Profanity is blocked by asterisks. It normally sels for $2.99.
Luke & Ellen's Erotica, Volume 1 is a series of three short, romantic and erotic stories centered around the lives of a young couple travelling the world. Each story presents a the escapades of a young man and woman having fun around the globe. You're bound to get taken away for at least a little while with this one. Regularly priced at $4.99, if you like to read, check it out.
I'm gonna take the easy out on this one and just use the official description....
Feeling naughty? The PleasureBerry TURBO (Full Version) transforms your BlackBerry into a sexy massager. What could be more convenient than turning your cell phone into a vibrator? Your BlackBerry is always with you, and after you download the PleasureBerry TURBO, you'll have a vibrator by your side whenever that sexy mood strikes. This vibrator app will please both men and women.
PleasureBerry TURBO supplies you a discreet, powerful vibrator: no one will ever guess what your phone can do. You can use this virtually silent vibrator at home, at work, at the club, wherever you choose. Experiment with the 15 different vibration settings to find the one that feels best for you!
Good chance that prolonged use of this one will drain the battery a little quicker than you'd normally expect. Check it out at the links below. There's also a lite version here.
The Sexy Ladies series of apps packs a bunch of photos of pretty ladies right onto your BlackBerry Smartphone. Three different apps offer a bunch of bikini ladies, blondes and brunettes. Follow the links below to learn more! Regulary priced at $5.00 (but usually on sale).
When it comes to sexy wallpapers for your BlackBerry, we have no shortage of babe photos in our free BlackBerry wallpapers gallery. Just click through to the gallery, choose your device resolution and click into the babes category. As for themes, there's lots out there.... just hunt around our theme store or theme forums and you're bound to find a bunch!
This one will keep you in shape (might want to warm up first so you don't hurt yourself!) but could easily prove worth the price if you learn something new.
And winding down our BlackBerry Adult Apps roundup with a little fun, we have the always-popular Berry Strippoker. It sells for $9.99 and you can buy "add-on" lady opponents at $2.99 a pop (check out Elizabeth here). I think this one is pretty self-explanatory... and fun! And if you're more the Sudoko player than poker type, you can always check out Bikini Sudoko for BlackBerry.
Is that it for sexy adult oriented BlackBerry apps? Not even close. There's actually quite a few I didn't even touch on, so if you feel so inclined to see what else is out there for the adult BlackBerry user, just jump into the CrackBerry app store and do some creative searching (discretion guaranteed).
As for me, well, I think I'm going to call it an early work day. I'm having a crazy party tonight to wind down the decade so I gotta go stock up on Campari. Hopefully you enjoyed the post (I'm not sure how we'll top this one... maybe a roundup of adult websites that work well on the new WebKit browser when BlackBerry 6 hits? lol), and if not hopefully you have the good humor to roll with it. Otherwise, direct your hate mail to me. You know the disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post have been those of Kevin Michaluk's and are in no way endorsed by CrackBerry.com and company. Lol. That concludes the greatest BlackBerry blog post ever written. Goodbye!